It is an empty day at work and I have been reading some material on vegan diet. I had tried the diet for a week in December 09 and had realized at a very preliminary level the enormous benefits it holds. A week, however, is too short a period of time and therefore, I have been thinking of going on a month-long plan beginning tomorrow.
And it was while searching for veganism that I chanced upon Steve Pavlina’s website. While browsing through his articles, I chanced upon an article which claimed that one will be able to understand the true purpose of one’s life in about 20 minutes.
I was skeptical, not for the technique Steve was proposing, but for my ability to be able to do that. I just do not cry easily these days. So crying on the realization of my true motive of life seemed like an unreachable goal to me (participants begin by generating a list of all that comes to their minds when they ask themselves a question: ‘what is the true purpose of my life?’ The participants are to stop when they list an entry and end up crying). But since I am always open to such new ideas, I decided to give it a try anyway.
I lasted only about 10 minutes in the suggested timeframe of 20 minutes when I typed: 31. ‘To learn to forgive’ and burst into tears. No, it was more like a muffled sob and tears rolling down my eyes, but crying it sure was in some sense. I continued to key in some more entries, but nothing made me move as much as that singular statement – ‘to learn to forgive’. According to Steve, this must thus, be my true life purpose.
Looking back, I am very glad that the crying moment occurred when I had typed ‘to learn to forgive’ – NOT ‘to learn to forgive self’ and NOT ‘to learn to forgive others’. It thus means that I need to work upon my ability to forgive myself as well as others. And knowing how difficult it has been for me to forgive in general (I am getting better at this now, but I still need a lot of work in this aspect), I think Steve might just have helped me discover this from my very core.
Some of the other entries that I highlighted were around ‘meditation’, ‘working towards the cause of Dhamma’, ‘living in silence’, ‘walking’, ‘learning to let go’, ‘working on self-improvement’ and ‘helping others grow / realize their true potential’. I ended up pausing a bit on most of such themes and now think that they all flow in one cohesive them of ‘working towards self-development and helping others by sharing own experiences’. Additionally, when I wrote bullets like ‘learn a new musical instrument’, ’make more money’ and ‘have children’, I knew that I was unconvinced. And that I was writing those down because I needed to keep writing till the end of twenty minutes atleast and that I was not really chancing upon what I really wanted to write.
It has been a good experience, taking this test and I think another knot in my self-discovery has now come undone. I am writing this post now for my own sake if not for someone else’s; so that I remember later, after many days / months / years, why I am here on this earth and what I need to instill in myself before I die.
My final life-purpose reads:
'To forgive self and others for the failures and inadequacies. To accept and acknowledge the shortcomings and work upon them than get overwhelmed and insecure by their presence. Share the journey from ‘sub-me’ to ‘real-me’ with others and help them realize their true potential'
This life-purpose makes perfect sense to me, even on the second reading. Now, however, comes the tough part. Bringing into action this life-statement than just acknowledge it for its accuracy.
